groom-essentials

Men at work

With the bride insisting on taking care of organising every aspect of her wedding, what’s a man to do? Don’t worry lads, says Momtaz Begum-Hosain, help is at hand…

By fashion_admin | Posted Wed 18 January 2012

While women famously turn into stress heads or Bridezillas in their drive to get their dream wedding organised, the traditional groom-to-be gets a relatively easy ride. Accompany her to meet a few service providers, scoff at the cost, nod eagerly when she insists on something, and turn up at the wedding without showing any of the wear and tear from the stag night.
The modern groom is different – he wants to play as big a part in the preparation process as his bride. And that involves taking the initiative (with her blessing of course), putting plans into action, and rallying round the lads to get the jobs done to perfection. Time to man up!

The Groom’s duties
No one’s expecting you to have anything but an opinion about the finer details like flower arrangement or the colour of linen (the words you need to rehearse here are ‘yes dear, they look perfect’), but that doesn’t mean you’ll win any brownie points sat there twiddling your thumbs. Here’s what you need to do. And make sure you pass this feature on to all the men invololved:
Appoint your entourage: Picking your best man isn’t just about choosing the mate that’ll throw you the wildest stag night, he also needs to be someone who can entertain guests with a killer speech, as well as being trustworthy enough to get you to the venue on time. And it helps if he and the bride don’t hate each other’s guts... Once you’ve made your selection, let down your other best friends and brothers by appointing them as your groomsmen, or ushers. Usually made up of your friends, family and the bride’s brothers, they will run last minute errands, greet guests, usher them to their seats and generally act like saints.
Shape up: No doubt your other half has been talking about the ‘D’ word for sometime. But diets don’t mean you have to stop eating all your favourite foods – just reduce your intake. And go on, put some regular hours in at the gym – cardiovascular exercises combined with weight training three times a week for 30 minutes per session will ensure you don’t end up the guy on the beach wearing the baggy t-shirt on your honeymoon…

Invitation list: RSVPs. Asians are famously useless at it, aren’t they? Well, not with you in charge. The official Asiana Wedding recommendation is to divide up the guest list into quarters – your parent’s list, her parent’s list, hers, and yours (good luck with that!). While you’ll be the one to do the noble thing and shave numbers from your share, don’t ruin it by sulking about it. Instead, make it your responsibility to email and ring everyone on the list to make them all feel welcome and, most importantly, affectionately bar them from bringing their next door neighbour’s aunt and her seven kids along.

Shop: Start buying pampering products and book into a male salon (the-refinery.com) to look the part for your leading lady. You’ll need to pick your own attire (make sure the style and colours complement hers – matching the embroidery on her lengha is the way to go) and expect to pay for your best man’s. Your groomsmen and bridesmaids need to be thanked with a small token – cufflinks and flowers are the popular choice – and you’ll also need to choose the buttonholes for their suits. And don’t forget, it’s not just the rock for her finger, your wife also deserves a wedding present too, something special and personal to help her remember she’s marrying the right guy…

Entertainment: With all the stress of planning the bride goes through, you’ll be forgiven for thinking girls just don’t wanna have fun. But you do – party is your middle name, right? So get this one started right. Make it your job to book the right DJ (one who’ll play music you both like, as well as pleasing the crowd), and select live music – be it dhol players, a string quartet or a band – with the same kind of attention to detail you give your compilation CDs. Make her day by booking both of you into a dance class (firstdanceuk.co.uk) to perfect your first dance (this is not the time for surprises – she needs to know exactly what you’ve got in store for her).