My man thinks buying me presents is all he needs to apologise whenever he messes up. But I like to talk things through so it doesn’t happen again. It’s just so frustrating…

Men famously take things personally when we’re in a bad mood and just need to sound off, but in the instance where we’re angry directly because of his actions, getting in a hump over it is just plain and simple immature.

When you sit him down to have this very necessary chat (and to spare the poor boy’s sensitivities, do so when he hasn’t just done something wrong), point out that you understand that people make mistakes, but if a person has been wronged by that mistake, it’s only fair to allow the offended person to have their say. Saying sorry isn’t as easy as buying a bunch of flowers  – you have to physically vocalise it, take responsibility for your actions and explain why it won’t happen again. In return, promise that when he fesses up, you’ll give him a fair hearing. A lot of men clam up the moment they’re shouted at, so one of you has to be the adult and encourage a situation where you can both talk like grown-ups!

My friend has fallen for me

Things have been very awkward between my male best friend and I since he revealed he was in love with me. He initially apologised saying he’d had a bit to drink, but now he avoids my calls and I heard from a mutual friend that he’s heartbroken I turned him down. What should I do?

Oh dear lord, not another man holding out for the sympathy shag. If I had a rat for every time a male friend has promised to be like a brother to me only to one day have a few drinks to build up the courage to reveal what they’ve really wanted all along was to get into my pants, I’d have enough rats to start a plague. It’s just so damn insulting.

Girls are always berated for having male friends – by boyfriends, by family, by other women even – all saying that platonic friendships aren’t possible, and just when you think you’ve proved them all wrong, your allegedly best friend goes and pulls a stunt like this.

I’m tempted to say you’re lucky to be rid of a man that led you onto believe his intentions were noble, but I appreciate you have feelings for him and are looking for a way to make it all better. I suggest you ask him out for a drink, talk both your feelings through, assuring him that you still care for him, but be clear that it wasn’t you who put your friendship in jeopardy.

Text Pest

I desperately need a woman’s point of view. My ex girlfriend keeps texting me nasty messages, but every time I respond, she threatens to call the police on me for intimidating her. Is this some kind of sick joke all women play when they’ve been dumped?

Oh, poor you. There you are trying to rebuild your life after she destroyed your chance of happiness (naturally, it was entirely her fault). It must be horrible for you to get all those mean messages at such a vulnerable point in your life. Who are you kidding, buddy? For every text she sends, you send one that’s clearly vicious enough to be taken seriously by the authorities. All this tit for tat aggression, where one claims to be merely retaliating in response to the other’s attack, achieves nothing during arguments in a relationship, and certainly doesn’t do any good after it’s over. Man up, don’t respond to her texts and move on. There’s no war when one side gives up. Let it go, and she will too…