By definition, one-upmanship is a show of superiority between two men trying to get one up on the other. It starts off in the playground with ‘my dad’s bigger than yours’ and spreads into adulthood via the work place, social circle, even the neighbourhood. ‘My car is faster than yours, my girlfriend is fitter than yours, my tennis serve is more powerful than yours will ever be…’

It is a childish practice that our boys apply as a mark of their machismo, but because it’s not an exclusively male obsession, this competitive streak can all too often rip apart the relationship between a man and a woman.

While it is true women prefer to see other adults as peers, when we’re faced with someone who is hell-bent on proving they are better than we are – the natural reaction is: oh yeah? I’ll show you who’s better…

But going down this road is exactly how this horrible game works. You show him yours, he’ll show you his! Whenever you sense the possibility of combat on the horizon, simply defuse it by saying: ‘now, now dear, this isn’t a competition.’

Don’t confuse one-upmanship with control or even manipulation – it’s not about putting you down, but laying down a challenge. If a man’s trying to dictate terms to you or wielding his might to belittle you, by all means stand up and put him in his place. But this isn’t about power – it’s about showing off. And while it’s one thing flashing your new set of jewels to sully your neighbour, it’s nigh on dull when it creeps into your home affairs.

This is a particular problem where both partners are earning. Very few men can stomach the thought that their share of the bacon is leaner than the one his missus brings home. Riddled by one-upmanship, he will prove his worth by buying her gifts he can’t afford – which is all well and good except she knows it’s a statement, plus it won’t be long before he blames her once he runs out of cash. The mistake would be to retaliate and buy him a better gift. A happy outcome is always when both incomes are pooled together. Sit down at the beginning of pay day and work out what you both need.

The most common type of one-upmanship comes in the spoken form – and is rarely subtle. He will say something infuriating like: ‘you know that shortcut to your mum’s you can never find? I had a look for it for the first time the other day and I found it so easily.’ Take a deep breath, tell yourself your driving ability speaks for itself and forget about how he wasted two hours going down the wrong motorway on the last visit to his parents, then simply smile and say: ‘thank you dear.’

Game over.

If it gets too much, adopt a sense of humour about it. Saying ‘yes, dear you’re fantastic’ with your tongue in your cheek is far less likely to descend into an argument than retorting ‘god, you always have to get one over me, don’t you?’

It’s important to talk these things through. Otherwise you’ll easily fall into the realm of mind games and when that happens, there really will be no hope left for the poor bloke…