It’s a weird one for women. We know we can’t stand our house being untidy, but at the same time, we don’t want to heed the outdated advice that an Asian woman’s role is to cook, clean and clear up. Being a housewife, cries the militant voice within us, does not mean being married to the house. But while bra burning is all well and good, a woman will always wonder: someone has to clear the charred mess up afterwards…

One of the biggest causes of conflict between a couple living together is the delegation of chores. It appears our other halves simply don’t like doing their homework. We ran an online survey asking men why and the reasons ranged from the sexist to the ridiculous. Here are a few choice chore chortles:

•  I work all day. Why should I come home and do more work?

• I’m so bad at washing up. My wife has to do them all over again so why bother in the first place?

• Men like fixing and building things. Women like washing and clearing. I don’t ask my wife to go under the bonnet of our car with a wrench, so why should she insist I hoover up behind the skirting boards?

Whatever men say, the fact is women can’t ignore the sight of a pile of washing up with the same nonchalance our men display so infuriatingly.

So we’re left to hang our dirty laundry in private. But why exactly do we do it? It’s time for the washing up gloves to come off and clear the matter up once and for all...

IT'S A DIRTY JOB BUT...
The chore: You’ve accepted that the mess won’t get cleared up unless you do something about it, so what the heck.

The problem: There are many times when the last thing you want to be faced with at the end of a hard day is a mound of unfinished business, and you will naturally feel embittered by having to deal with it all. At such times, he may step in to do the chores for you – but this establishes a ritual whereby you are grateful for any help he gives and he feels he is doing you a favour.

The solution: If the idea of a rota system seems too bureaucratic for his liking, adopt the winning formula of I-cook-you-clean, you-hoover-I-tidy. And remind him, many hands don’t just make light work but also keeps the bedroom headaches at bay…

KEEP IT CLEAN, TREAT HIM MEAN
The chore: Some women like to keep things at home in shipshape order because they like it just so.

The problem: This not only makes him feel excluded from your ritual of housekeeping, but chances are, he will constantly irritate you every time he places something that doesn’t belong there or removes something that puts your order into disarray.

The solution: It’s a fact that people who live alone tend to be selfish when it comes to their home life. Newsflash: you don’t live alone. Learn to share and he’ll show he cares.

WASH AWAY YOUR WORRIES
The chore: Doing the housework can be incredibly therapeutic. The humming of the hoover and the gurgle of soap suds help clear your mind of all those day to day woes.

The problem: Once the chores become a form of escapism, it turns into your own private retreat where no man dares to tread. And the more worries you have, the more you will find yourself constantly reaching for the cleaning products – to the point where you may well become obsessive about it.  

The solution: It’s never a good idea to replace problems with distractions. Deal with it by talking it through with your man. Let him into your world and share your thoughts while you share the chores.

CLEAN SLATE
It’s time to rethink your whole clearing up strategy. Don’t see them as chores but as a time for both of you to bond. Read a Feng Shui or Vastu book together, show an interest in his DIY plans for home improvement, drive down to the garden centre and weed out the rubbish.

It’s up to both of you to make your home a castle. And if all fails, just hire a cleaner…