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Diary of a badman

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Move over Abu

There's a new Hamza in town! All hail Humza Arshad, the hottest badman on the tube

By fashion_admin | Posted Tue 04 January 2011

Your Diary of a Badman is a huge Internet hit. Where did the idea come from?
I was simply bored at the time and wanted do to something to connect with kids. I've always been good at performing and making a fool out of myself. A lot of entertainment these days is pointless - you watch it, you laugh, you go home, that's it. I wanted to do something that would make people laugh but think at the same time.

Are your folks proud to have a star in the family?
They think I'm mental! A lot of times my mum has mentioned that I'm a mistake, there isn't much eye contact... And now my dad is finally starting to edge me on because he knows that I'm becoming slightly famous so there's a chance I might make money for him.

Did you have a similar upbringing to your character?
Yeah a little bit - obviously it's been exaggerated but there is a lot that other people can relate to because it is so common.

How strict are your parents?
They're not to be honest, they do have their moments but I have to say my mum and dad are the best parents I've ever had mostly because, well, they are the only I've ever had.

You focus on Islam quite a bit...
I'm actually an atheist. I'm joking, I'm not an atheist, I just said that because my mum is standing next to me and I wanted to tick her off. I'm not the most religious person in the world, which you can tell, by how thin my beard is, but I try my best. These days I think the youth, and especially Muslim youngsters don't find it interesting to learn about the religion. When you have an old guy with a beard shouting that Islam is about peace with five microphones and speakers surrounding him, it's not really appealing. My videos aren't only for Muslims, I don't want to leave out any other religions or cultures, and that’s why I concentrate on morals that are universal, like respecting your mum.

So you're sticking to your morals for future videos?
I plan to do more definitely, unless I die, then that would obviously be a problem. I think it's important to find different methods of connecting with the youth now more than ever. Sometimes simply telling them right from wrong won't work. That's why my characters follow typical Asian stereotypes, because I want people to see things in their most basic form and realise they're being smelly! I don't think I'm going to change the way things are on the greater scale of things but if I can touch one person, then I'm happy with that.

How has life changed since you've become a YouTube sensation?
I get a lot of stalkers, a lot of people come up to me and breathe heavily, it is quite worrying but I don't think it's that much of a problem.

How shocked were you at the response you got?
When I made Diary of a Bad Man I thought it was genuinely crap so I put it away for a long time. Then a lot of my friends, family friends and cousins all watched it and their reaction was to tell me I had a decision to make either I could upload it now, or get physically hurt and upload it a little bit later. I don't like violence so I went along with it. It's crazy the amount of people that are showing support and interest, I've only uploaded two videos and already have over 2 million views so it's definitely overwhelming

How do you deal with negative feedback?
I think there's a difference between haters and constructive criticism. Often people have negative things to say but you can use it in a positive way. You also have to realise that you are trying to cater for everyone and so I take it on board. When people have something really bad to say I genuinely worry about them because they were probably bullied in school or raised by wolves. I did think it would be really risky as a lot of my videos have Islamic teachings and you can never be sure with what people have to say about them.

How true to life is your YouTube character?
Of course not everything is true. For example, my mum doesn't actually stab me, she uses elbows and knees mostly and a few head-butts here and there. But it's fine, as long as she's happy. In terms of the salaan topic raised in my sketches, all I know is having something every day for 8 weeks can get annoying. Especially when it is keema and the actual green peas are still frozen, and I really don't know what the fascination is with daal, the older lot talks about daal like it's a crazy dish but it's rubbish.

Any similarities between you and your alter ego?
Unfortunately, we’re very similar. I'm obviously not that squeaky though as I have gone through puberty and my voice has broken. And I don’t think I’m that stupid, I am pretty stupid though...

Are you as bad at flirting with girls as he is?

My mum will read this, so… no. No, I do not flirt with girls. In fact the closest I have ever been to a girl in my entire life is putting my hand up and asking my female teacher a question about education. Why are you asking this question, do you want me to get head-butted by my mum?

Do people always expect you to be funny?
It's my fault. I joke around a lot, so can't suddenly get annoyed when someone wants a laugh. I am and always have been an attention seeker. I remember when I was younger at family gatherings I would secretly show my bum to my cousins, they would find it funny but afterwards I found out it's actually quite perverted and I don't know why I'm telling you this now.

What's the craziest thing you've done?
Once again I'm unsure as to why you think my mum can't read, I promise when she reads this she'll be like oh let's see what's the craziest thing Humza has done... what, he actually did that?! And then, next time we’ll be talking I will be in A&E and hospitals freak me out as it is. They smell of urine, I don't want to talk about it.

How do you keep a straight face?
I've been trained to. If you think about James Bond for instance, he doesn't crack because he's been trained, and I've been to drama school so I too have been trained not to crack. And like I told you, I'm amazing.

Are you a Bad Man?
I'm definitely a man, I don't know about bad because most bad men are thugged-out and gangster, which I’m not. And to be honest there are a lot of things I'm afraid of like the colour orange, and clowns, and oh my cotton buds, they just freak me out.

What can we see next from you?
It's crazy because I have only done two videos and all of a sudden I have offers to do music videos, and BBC Asian Network and Buzz Asia both want me to come down. I'm getting offers left, right and centre and a lot of people want to work with me but I don't know what will happen.

• Watch Diary of a Badman on Asiana Tube now